A few months ago the Encephalitis Society (who have just won the Times Charity of the Year!) called and asked if I would be one of their Speaker for the Annual Member’s Conference. I felt incredibly privileged and nervous to be asked to speak…. I nearly said no, for all sorts of self doubts and fears….. and then, as Phillipa the event organiser said, think if you could help someone.
And I thought, fear grows courage which helps growth! Get on with it, and so I did.
In Feb 2014 Aliki Chrysochou helped me. I heard her sing at the conference and I lasted about 10mins with my neurology. Aliki gave me strength, hope, courage and focus to believe. So my whole focus was, if I can create even just a tiny moment of magic like she did (without singing!) and help even one person it will be amazing.
And my prep began to give the best talk possible,, sharing my personal story of post weils encephalitis to now, with 7 Tips to help Overcome Adversity. To prepare I do a lot of mind mapping, anchoring and mental rehearsal, using all my NLP skills to deliver and prepare, all of this is invaluable and I would highly recommend if you would like to enhance your public speaking skills.
I listened to my TEDxBristol talk to enhance what I say, it’s useful I think.. have a listen… https://youtu.be/E2p86KJU8h. I then listened to Aliki’s song which she performed on Britain’s Got Talent – Wake me Up Inside – ‘Bring me to Life, save me from the nothingness I’ve become’. https://youtu.be/Ot6gMQFpZME It’s very poignant when you have experienced any neurology and brain condition which affects your very existence.
So with prep ready, I traveled up to London with good nerves and apprehension, unsure of what to expect yet clear on what I wanted to deliver. On arriving there were many members, survivors, Doctors and experts, but two little girls stood out, one called Hope who won the Junior Fundraising Award. And another, with a t shirt saying, ‘Having a brain condition is a super power…’ What a cool message to proudly wear.
(Photo with fellow Speaker – Paul Wicks)
I wanted to share my 7 Tips to Overcome Adversity from my talk to help you. I hope one will make a difference, whatever is happening in your life right now. Have a read and let me know:
1.FEAR.
I think this is often the number one limit for all of us. We over think things, wonder what if I succeed, what if I fail, what if I can’t, what will people think, I’m not good enough. I coach all sorts of people from Strictly Come Dancing to CEO’s, to extreme adventurers and Team GB athletes and ‘even’ all of them have the same Fears. It’s human nature.
So my tip is, become aware of your fears and embrace them, turn and face them. Write your top three fears on a piece of paper, and then on the other side, write down exactly what you can do, feel and influence to move away from the fear, to feeling okay, to actually feeling and creating a more helpful habit to move towards what you want. Now, this sounds easy, and actually if you action it and make a tiny shift every day, it is. But Fear is a monkey, and it starts to question is it worth it, is it going to work…. ? Yes, I promise you 100% it will. And if you don’t know how to do it yourself, get some support and see what is possible.
2. SELF CARE.
The paradox of time and self care? I think most people I coach are fully aware of what they ‘need’ to do to look after themselves, yet totally unable to create a tiny moment in time each day to do so. I’ve always found this quote,’ those who do not make time to look after themselves, will surely need to make the time to care for themselves when ill.’ Its kind of poignant but true.
So my great hope with tips is you check in with how you are feeling right now. Mindset, thoughts, sleep, nutrition, movement, strength, love, fun, confidence, hormones…. ? Just do a quick score for each area, and then choose three areas which you would like to change over the next month and exactly what you will simply to do make the difference. Pop me a message if you are over-whelmed or unsure.
3. WHO ARE YOU?
I think when a big life change happens, losing a loved one, moving house, to getting married or divorced, having a child, or not having a child, changing jobs, qualifying for a major competition, landing a big deal… we can sometimes lose our way, question who we are and things ‘don’t make sense’ and perhaps what we thought would be our path, changes. And you know what, this is 100% okay, we just need to pause and work out who we are and who we want to become.
The best way to start this is to build a big vision board, packed full of images, quotes and ideas with ourselves in the center. Then starting to notice what words, style and colour we associate with ourselves and checking if they are helpful or not? By moving towards what we want to represent and feel, it will help us to become our very best version. I would love to know how you go with this, do share you images and thoughts.
4. FOCUS.
Right now, as you read this, I wonder ‘where’ you actually are in your thoughts? Are you present reading this, or thinking ahead to what you ‘should’ do next, or could be doing instead. Do you have 25 tabs and devices open, a huge to do list and spend your time jumping like a frog from one thing to the next but never quite completing or being clear? I think this is so common, and what I have learned to help people with is focus, choosing one thing each day which will add value to their life, business, family and self. Achieving that one thing, and perhaps a max of 3 key priorities each day is possible, anymore causes overwhelm, fatigue and frustration. So try it today, choose 1-3 key things to do and feel, write them down in a notebook and bring yourself back to them every time you start to become distracted. Training yourself to do this helps in all areas of life, and writing things down is the key.
5. GRATITUDE & LESSONS.
Every day we have a choice of how we choose to respond to what happens in our day. So whilst we cannot always ‘control’ what is happening in our day, we can choose our response. I would love to invite you to write down three things every day you are grateful for, or which made you feel good or happy. Then write down two to three things you learned or which you limited yourself with, and how you will edit and shift these tomorrow. This links with the fear exercises and empowers you to become aware of creating solutions rather than getting stuck. And most importantly growing your inner gratitude which is essential for growing resilience for tough times. I would love to know your gratitude and lessons for a day.
6. FUN.
I met a wise old 98 year old lady, who said, however tough your situation is, however you wish you could have more or less of something, don’t lose sight of the now. Be present within it, and for goodness sake add a bit of mischief to your soul and a spark to your eyes every day. This will help grow your joy in every day and is truly valuable. I think this is a wise piece of advice and love to know what your joy is each day.
7. GIVE BACK.
However challenging your situation is, find a moment to give something back. It could be time, a conversation, a donation, calling a friend, anything really which makes a difference to someone else’s life. For trust me, the art of giving, towards something or someone that truly matters to you, is so important. Give it a go today, and let me know what you choose to do.
That’s it! My tips from my talk at the Encephalitis Society Conference, yet they are totally applicable to anyone and any area of work, sport and life. I would love you to choose one of the tips and let me know what you are going to change, feel and do.
Go and grab today, make today count. Life happens to us all…. make sure you live it as fully as possible, embrace fear and go do.
If I can support you in any way, just pop me a message.
Links you may like:
I’m selling copies of The Hound of Happiness for the rest of October and every sale will give a donation to the The Encephalitis Society, so if you would like a copy or two for stocking fillers pop me an email
Paul Wicks Photography – Check out Freedom Photo – amazing
Download my FREE Mind Body Goals Check List and Tips
I’m currently mentoring 5 people for TEDx Bristol #daretodisrupt
