When Doing Your Best, Is Good Enough Yet Not Enough…


When I went to the casting of Fit Factor I didn’t really contemplate getting through. It was more about doing something that day, that would push me out of my comfort zone, I did consider the competition.  So when I got a place, I thought, do I really want to do this?

Yes, girl, kick, yes… come on, was the answer.  Because I wanted a goal, I wanted a focus.  I did think, its not really me though.
Then I thought about two clients I was training for the London Marathon with Mental Strength who were saying, ‘I’m not really a runner.’  Well, if you are training for a marathon, be that sub 3hrs in one instance, or for the first time, in around 5.5hrs, you are a runner. You just have to believe that, and define how you want to be and feel as a runner.
I realised that I needed to do the same for Fit Factor, its not what I am comfortable with, but I was committing to taking part and wanted to do my best.  So I worked on my identity for the show, what I wanted to represent, what I valued about taking part and what  believed in, what I was capable of (and what I needed to learn) and what I coulld do to be my best in the environment. You can work through this for any goal too, it really helps.
To be my best, even as a Coach I think it is invaluable and essential to look for outside support and excellence in whatever you are aiming to achieve.  The most successful people usually will mention several coaches who have helped them get where they are.
At the casting, Kirk Miller (pictured below with his lovely girlfriend Abby who made it to the finals) was one of the judges.  He knew what was needed to do well, is an expert in his area & could offer on line coaching.  So I gave him a call, and yes, he agreed to take me on!  Woo hoo 🙂 I get nervous contacting trainers just like you guys do, yet it has been great to be back in client role too, it reminds you how your clients feel…
Cut to Friday… I did 7 weeks coaching with Kirk, training plans and nutrition, which I followed pretty much to the letter (except the odd diversion due to Roland Weily attacks and my long marathon training run, with Kirk thought was nutty, sorry!).   I had to send weekly photos, which I was always super nervous about, had I done enough that week?!
Everyone wants to do their best, and you often don’t see change yourself, yet you have to trust the process.  Which is why finding the right Coach, who fits with you, is key.  Remember this when you are choosing who to help support you achieve your goals.  Someone you respect, trust & feel inspired by I believe is key.
What training for Fit Factor gave me was a focus . With my Weils, Encephalitis & Central Nervous System jumble I get weekly attacks and moments of disconnect in my thoughts. Undoubtedly it has changed my life and challenged my identity and confidence.   Things that I used to love and made me, currently don’t suit my condition…so change was necessary.
Training with Kirk offered me a structure and goal, something to focus on, something to achieve.  I adapted anything with my health my priority, and my aim to get on stage and rock it!
To achieve rocking the stage, I had an amazing stage presence coaching session with James Alexander Ellis.  We worked together to form a routine that represented me, and one I felt comfortable with.  This was an invaluable hour, which I then practised daily.
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Registering Friday…. I was number 75, 6th on stage, first group of 10 ladies on Saturday afternoon. So much preparation goes into an event like this, just like an Ironman or marathon, just totally different.  Getting your tan right for the stage, being dried in something like a mini greenhouse, getting your make up done (essential for someone to help me with this, thank you Lucy Rose!) and then getting ready for the stage!
My outfits planned, routine practised, mental preparation done for both my best performance & to manage Roland attacks, I was ready to rock that stage!
My focus was, ‘Outdoors surfy chick, hits the stage and rocks it, empowering people watching to believe in themselves and go for that goal in the back of their minds..believe in the impossible’.  I hope and think I did this.
After any event I get my clients to write three things that went well, and two things they learned to develop for the future.
I will practise what I teach, and do the same. Although I admit it has been hard, as I believe I really did my best, it wasn’t good enough, but it was!
Three Positive Things…
1.  I learned and became stronger and more confident in myself again. I have found I really enjoy lifting heavy weights, and that, combined with the more focused nutrition seems to have  helped my neurology. It has definitely helped my mind, whilst my health is my priority, having a positive goal alongside it, through the challenging moments has been invaluable.
2.  I found a ‘performer’ in me and had the courage to ‘let go’ and be me on stage. When I was younger I was so shy even speaking in front of people was challenging.  Representing ‘Kimpossible’ as my lovely clients call me, and being just that on stage was empowering & dare I say it, fun…. !
3. Doing something different with different people was brilliant, I have met some amazing people who have become my friends, been challenged & been inspired.  This will always add value to ones life and enhance my skills as a trainer and person.
2 Learnings.
1.  My primary aim was to get there…. and get on stage and do both performances, sports wear and bikini.  My focus was to be my best and get through to the Finals.  I did my first aim, and believe I rocked it as best I could.  Yet, I wasn’t ‘good enough’ to make the Finals.  It’s a hard one to learn from as I believe I did my very best. So my learning is that sometimes you have done your very best, just on the day, your best is not quite enough and you still have things to learn & develop (which is actually exciting in itself). So as long as you enjoyed it, the learnings and positives will ripple into your life and you never know what opportunities will happen, so stay open, wise and courageous.
2.  My health & happiness, and the health and happiness of YOU is the most important thing. A week before Fit Factor I was sat in hospital having a pre cellulitis infection drained and put on high anticbiotics which I am finishing today. I had the worst week of attacks, and honestly it wasn’t until Thurdsay that I genuinely thought, I am well, healthy, balanced and in a good enough (and sensible place) to register, anything else is a bonus.  I, like you must remember, keep things in perspective and always be proud of who you are, whatever the external result is,this is uncontrollable, yet your happiness and focus is always a choice.
One Overall Take Away
Super Proud I managed to Rock that Stage, despite having an attack straight after the Bikini round. Super Grateful for all the amazing coaching from Kirk Miller (Thank YOU),Renee for the Organisation, Karen for tanning me up, Lucy Rose for the make up, Karen K for the bikini & brilliant support from so many people, especially John Wood and Laura Williams on the day.
A little apprehensive about what to do from June & quite excited about what I could do….. who knows! Suggestions are always welcome …..;-)
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So that’s my summary, the Coach pracising what she teaches, honest and open.
A massive Well Done to everyone who competed, especially all the finalists and the winners…Natasha Gilson & Ryann Dack, totally inspiring and exceptionally well deserved.
Wherever you end up in a competition, first to last, take the learnings, in time be super proud of yourself and always, always keep believing in yourself. Remember, you had the courage to get up and commit to achieving a goal 🙂
After big relax and recharge, tomorrow I will turn my attention gently to part two of my Charity Challenge and preparation to fly to Sierra Leone for the Marathon, leaving this Wednesday. …. never have two challenges been so far apart, or will I have learned so much.  For that I will always be so grateful and hope  can inspire just one of you by reading this to believe in your dreams and you. Go for ‘it’.
Find out why & support us raise money for 2 schools if you can here …. :
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You can read my features in Workout Magazine and Ultrafit Magazine this month on Body Image and Confidence.  I am shooting Charli Cohen AW14 collection with Simon Howard in June too, really looking forward to this 🙂